20 Ways to Avoid Doing Chores...Cady Style

Following up on my last blog post, 10 Ways to get your child to do chores, I thought it would be appropriate to discuss creative ways the Cady children tried to get OUT of their responsibilities. Where Mom and Dad were highly creative in getting us to do our chores, we were equally resourceful in finding ways to avoid said tasks. Below are only a few approaches we attempted.

1. Be allergic: This was a favorite of some Cady children.  I thought it cheapened the experience to claim allergies when the rest of the family was outside mowing the lawn, trimming the eight miles of boxwood hedges, and pulling weeds.  I mean, seriously. It's just hives, rashes, wheezing, and nearly having your throat close up.  Take some Benadryl and get over it! 
2. Take up Sports: Sports were one of my preferred methods of avoiding chores. It's not my fault they have volleyball games three hours away on a Saturday. 
3. Have a job. Another of my preferred excuses.  If abused too often, it began to upset Dad.  But, in my effort to avoid any and all family chores, I opted to take up JROTC, sports, work, and early morning seminary...just to be safe.  You never know when Dad was going to throw a pickle at you and put you in charge of dishes. 
4. Be under the age of 1, or unable to walk. This rule was a bit more fluid.  If you were eight months old and decided you wanted to walk, well then you better be willing to pick up your toys.  Everybody pitches in!
5. Ignore Mom & Dad when they are calling your name. I heard legend of Cady kids trying this technique.  I also heard a rumor that we had 12 children at one time.  I think there may be a correlation there somewhere. 
6. Play sick. If a child wanted to try this method, they had to be unwaveringly dedicated to their story.  In our home you couldn't lie in bed and cough a little.  No.  You needed to be willing to spend some time in the emergency room, or at the very least, wretch several times in the toilet.  The louder you were, the more points you got. 
7. Break bones. I was never this determined to get out of chores, but Matt and Becca were both willing to go to such extremes to avoid mopping the floor, or cleaning toilets.  It didn't work for long though.  Eventually Mom and Dad would have them working alongside the rest of us, cast and all .
8. Get hit by a car.  Never one to be outdone, Matt decided to take matters into his own hands and get hit by a car while on his bike.  I believe it got him out of one or two Saturday sessions before Dad was cracking the whip again.  
9. Have a birthday. Birthdays were a glorious thing.  It meant one day where you got to choose the shows on TV and...NO CHORES!  I tried to claim my birthday at least every other month, but Dad always seemed to see right through me. 
10. Leave Town. Hey! A kid's gotta do what a kid's gotta do.  There comes a point in our young life where slaving away with a vacuum and a toilet brush gets to be too much. It's not like we had a dishwasher growing up. And sometimes we had to wring our clothes out by hand and hang them on a clothes line.  Life back in our day was hard.  
11. Move out of the house. Desperate times call for desperate measures.  And after decades of doing housework, I can imagine some of my older siblings were pretty doggoned determined to fly the coop.  Some of them went off to college.  Others got married.  Still others went on missions for two years.  As a result, we learned to adjust. I learned how to cut down trees, fix sprinkler systems, replace light switches, mow lawns, do minor plumbing, change the oil in our car, and so much more. 
12. Stay at a friend's house. This was always my favorite tactic.  Not only was a slumber party involved, but if I timed it just right, the Saturday work would be done by the time I got home.  However, Mom became leery of such tactics and instigated a "curfew" requiring us to be home by 11:00 a.m. so we could still help out. 
13. Hide. Occasionally attempted by one of the younger kiddos, this tactic was almost always met with a firm swat to the butt, and extra chores.  It only took one or two swats before the ill-fated child decided work wasn't so bad after all. 
14. Pretend to work, but don't.  As we got older, some of us got craftier.  I was never bold enough to try this tactic, but I did see other sisters effectively work it.  
15. Use the bathroom. Hey, if Mom can hide in the bathroom for an hour, why can't we? Oh, that's right. Twelve people and 1-2 bathrooms. Eventually someone is gonna need to pee. 
16. Throw a tantrum. This is another method I suggest avoiding. At least in our household.  If hiding resulted in a swat and more chores. A tantrum incurred the full force of Dad's wrath, a world-class guilt trip by Mom, AND a bunch of extra chores to be done long after the rest of the family is done. Luckily, this almost never happened. 
17. Mysteriously disappear. If I recall, Cathy was the master of mysterious disappearances. If someone asked her to fetch something, it seemed to take her at least an hour, maybe more, to get the item.  I have no idea where that girl would disappear to. But she moved slower than molasses travelling uphill in Antarctica. 
18. Have an appointment. There were few appointments Mom and Dad deemed worthy of getting out of chores. Usually it was the dentist.  They must've figured it was worth trading one torture for another. 
19. Pray for a miracle. Though not normally successful, I wasn't above praying for a miracle on Friday night before bed.  Please, oh please let it be thunder and lightening outside tomorrow! Of course, we lived in Seattle for eleven years.  Dad wasn't above making us work in the rain either. 
20. Hope for a natural disaster. Another one-in-a-million shot, but by golly I was an optimist! Sadly, natural disasters were usually reserved for Thanksgiving when the lights would go out, and we'd end up eating cold (or no) turkey by candle light. This happened more than once in at our house.

Some of our tactics worked and some did not.  Occasionally the older kids would have mercy and warn the youngers which methods to avoid.  Other times they'd sit back and watch the entertainment.  But one thing was unanimously agreed upon.  Working for Mom and Dad was a million times better than working for Grandma Cady.  When that woman came to town, all bets were off.  Death itself couldn't keep you out of chores, and if you were lucky, you'd only have to re-do them once before you were off the hook.

~Susan (aka #7)