Procrastination #2: Or is this 1A: IMDB-ing "Designated Survivor" then "Truman Show" then "24." I've heard 24 is good. I should watch it. Is it on Netflix? Let's check... oh... that looks good. Wait! I'm supposed to be blogging!
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| Daisy would prefer if we sliced ourselves open and she could live inside us at all times. |
Procrastination #4: Stalking and staring at the skeeter-eater that came in through the slider. I know they say they kill the actually pernicious mosquitos, but he's so huge! Are they really just male mosquitos stepping up to the plate for oppressed male praying mantises by eating the smaller female mosquitos? Step away from Google.
Procrastination #5: Cuddle with Daisy. There was a big thunderstorm today, and she is a gentle creature prone to clinging and suffocating. Suffocating me, not herself. She breathes just fine.
Procrastination #6: Eating a handful of chocolate chips. They're so small. They're low-fat and practically calorie free, right? I mean, I could be melting them and mixing them with peanut butter for some gooey choco-peanut butter goodness, but Scott made fun of me for that today, and I shouldn't make that... Screw him! I'm not going to let him control me! That's it! I'm gonna make some of it just to spite him. That'll show him. Wait... not, it's 11:11 p.m. That's not a reasonable time to be eating anything. Plus, that will show nobody but the chocolate and peanut butter who is boss (at which point they obviously would be).
Procrastination #7: Brush my teeth. If my teeth are brushed, I won't eat anything else, right? Get it together, tummy. The mouth is shut down for the night.
Procrastination #8: Chat with Susan about my writer's block and get lost in meme searching. This is kind of like researching for my blog, which is almost as good as writing it, right?
Procrastination #8: Chat with Susan about my writer's block and get lost in meme searching. This is kind of like researching for my blog, which is almost as good as writing it, right?
Procrastination #9: Other general hygiene: I'm 36! Shouldn't my skin be done with the pimples already??? And when did my toenails become talons? Thank goodness I don't have Mom's feet yet. Those were terrifying.
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| I'm shamelessly self-promoting my Amazon business here. Buy my crap! |
Procrastination #11: Get lost in Amazon, repricing, studying trends, planning the next order, and stalking competitors. I wish I was actually in the Amazon. I bet it's warm there. But their bugs are probably worse than skeeter eaters. I guess I'm fine here.
Procrastination #12: Pay Bills. Good thing, too! I apparently hadn't paid the water bill in a bit. Thank goodness for having to blog, or this bill would never have gotten paid and the kids would've been distressed at the lack of water. And electricity too. Oops! Good thing those don't go on the credit score! While I'm at it, I'd better go through these other official-looking envelopes. Why the heck have I been getting AARP junk mail since the week after I turned 30? That's a pretty neat free Day Bag I'd get for subscribing though. And why do people also seem to think that it is appropriate to advertise cremation services and tombstone options to me? While we're asking questions, what's the deal with companies sending plastic mail rather than paper mail now? They must be in it for the long haul, trying to lure future customers, because all I'm doing is giving the plastic to my kids to use as pretend credit cards. That's right... I encourage consumer debt in my home. In other bill news: We're eligible for a cell phone upgrade and I could pretend that I don't need to update my AAA membership, but who would I be kidding? I lock my keys in the car at least twice a year, and that bad boy pays for itself. The last time the car was running and we nearly missed my niece's wedding! Quite the adventure, right, Peggy??
Procrastination #13: Listen to Scott's book that he's listening to while falling asleep. He's listening to Jane Austen! I love Jane Austen! Persuasion is my favorite. I'm watching Persuasion tomorrow. Not tonight. Tonight I'm blogging.
Ok, it's nearly midnight, and I'm almost to my deadline. Time to buckle down and get this thing written!
It is a good thing that we're supposed to blog about our lives, because tonight my theme was obviously procrastination.
Oh my Holy Hannah! I can now hold my head up proudly as I slink into the kitchen, quietly open the cupboard, and look both ways and out the kitchen window before flinging a palm full of chocolate chips into my mouth. The mini chips are even smaller, have less fat, and even fewer calories!!! And I feel the same way about Keifer Sutherland/Jack Ryan. And Bella is waiting for me to install an automatic door opener on our slider. Teeth brushing? Doesn't work. The first couple bites are a little off, but the rest tastes just fine. I don't have an Amazon store, and I don't get AARP mail yet (aren't I older than you?) but, wow! Our thought processes are amazingly similar. Are we related???
ReplyDeleteI will definitely have to try the mini chocolate chips. Your logic on everything is impeccable. I've only eaten them once, and I had a bad experience. It involves making Dad a birthday cake in March (do remember his birthday is in June), and using ingredients out of the 70-something year old's cupboards I was housesitting at. I'm pretty certain they hadn't baked in 15 years.
DeleteMy tooth brushing tactics worked this time, but I'd say the success rate is about 50%. That's not very good.
Like like like this! And AARP didn't start the stalking until my 50's? Maybe you just look older than I do, so they assume that you are older. Bwahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteYes, I got Dad's old-looking genes. None of Moms youthful skin. Last time I went to church with Peggy (13 years older), she was delighted that people were asking if I was her elder sister. I think hey we're just sucking up to her since they knew they'd never see me again. Especially not after that question.
DeleteChurch? What about the total stranger in the Spokane airport checking our bags? He wasn't sucking up and he had nothing to lose.
DeleteI think this one, by far, is my favorite. I hope people scroll down to read the comments too. It's almost as good as reading Amazon's customer comments regarding their sugar-free gummy bears. Almost.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000EVOSE4/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=crazycadysist-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B000EVOSE4&linkId=fc2bb7459628877acfa5b9a04e3da82e
If you haven't read it. Do it. NOW. You will thank me for it.
Girl! Did you make that an affiliate link at least??? Haha!
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